Posts tagged writing

“You’re my angel,” you said while we were driving in your car.  You had my hand in yours, and while one eye focused on the road, the other rested on me.  I blushed and hid my smile because for some reason I was embarrassed by sweet words.

To you, I was an angel.  But what words could describe how I felt for you?  I loved your smile, how your upper lip was the same size as you lower lip.  I loved the way you would walk chest first and how, when you breathed on me, it didn’t smell good or bad it just smelled like you.  I loved the way that after you held me, I could smell that scent for hours.  I loved how I fit perfectly inside your arms, and how you managed to kiss me and talk to me at the same time.  And I loved how there was no other you ever to be found in this world.

When you walked away, I missed all these things and so much more.  I missed your smile, and your walk.  I missed your smell, and your arms around me.  I missed your lips on mine, your voice in my ears.  I missed you.  And I realized something the day that you left:

 I’m not your angel.  But you will always be my star.

They’ll see what I’m made of.
Soon they’ll regret it all.
My revenge will come swiftly,
When they see me in the hall.

They’ll be sorry that they hit me
Recall the times they made me cry.
They’ll take back the names they called me.
When I look them in the eye.

Johnny will plead with me
He’ll say, “Don’t do this to my ma’”
He’ll cry and shake, but I won’t care.
He’s had this coming since last fall

Jenny, she will cry,
And her pretty lips will quiver.
But she told lies and humiliated me
And I’m not ready to forgive her

They’ll be begging me for mercy,
When I carry out my plans.
Now, I’ll be the one who’s laughing
While they beg me for a chance.

They’ll tell me that they’re sorry
That they were only having fun.
But, they’ll see what I’m made of
When I bring my daddy’s gun.

I whisper in the silence, but the sound passing my lips is muffled in my ears. What was it that I said?  I lay still in my bed, a chill in my bones despite the thick sea of blankets surrounding me.  My fingers outstretch, grasping for the lost words as if I could catch them in the air, and let them leave my lips again— those familiar syllables I once spoke tenderly and sweetly in the quiet of the morning.

What was it that I said?

As the cloudiness of slumber passes from me, I hear your name.

I look into your eyes, the shape of you filling up the space beside me.  Your eyes appear intoxicated as they gaze into mine, evidence to me of your affection.  You love me, who was just yesterday the little girl with matted hair and dirty fingernails from whom the little boys ran at recess.  Your love has rendered me a woman, my childhood left behind me in a faraway memory. I have never beheld anyone more handsome.

My cheeks blushing, I break the stare.  Your arms wrap around me tightly and I bury my nose into your neck memorizing your scent.  Your love drunken eyes bring out the shyness in me, but the hint of a smile lingers on my lips and I press them lightly to your jaw.  Forever, you said. Forever.  But you fade away as the light breaks through my window.  A dream.  A shadow. A distant memory.  My heart aches, empty and lonely like the space beside me.  “I miss you,” I whisper in the bareness of my room. I miss you…